Fridays are Movie Night at my house which gives Groff, me, and my mom a chance to slug beers together and bond. An awesome idea, I must say. Last night Groff called me up from the movie place, asking what he should rent. My mom and I were in agreement that Triple X would be the best movie ever, so I told him to get that.
Three hours later Groff showed up, smirking, with a DVD in his hand.
"You get the goddamn movie?" I asked, hinting at my annoyance toward his tardiness.
"Oh yeah Bro" he said, "Sit down. I'll put the movie in. You enjoy the show."
I tell ya if there's one thing Groff is good at, it's redeeming himself.

We started the movie and right away I knew he hadn't got the correct one; the production was really poor, like it was filmed on a camcorder. Still in back of my mind I thought maybe the director was playing a trick on the audience, like he was waiting for the anticipation to grow to such a fevered frenzy, that only then would he appease the viewers with a glimpse of the Golden God himself, Vin Diesel. My hopes were crushed when the opening credits finished and I hadn't seen his name. The names I did see, however, were anything but recognizable; names such as: Snatch Johnson, Mel Fistin', Laura Crotch, Steve Bukkake, Oprah Bang-Me, and Donald Hump.
Talk about a bunch of freaks. There's no doubt in my mind those chumps got their asses kicked day after day on the playground. Anyways, after my initial letdown subsided I made sure to find something enjoyable in the movie.
It started in a kitchen with a scantily clad young lady complaining about the sink to her friend. Her friend, in a bikini, suggested she call a plumber to fix the problem. Seconds later the doorbell rang and in came a burly man in uniform and a nametag which read Dick on it.
Groff and I both chuckled, but what happened next was no laughing matter.
Plumber man asked Lady #1 what her problem was and she said, "I think something's wrong with my plumbing." Except she said it in this weird, throaty, voice which made me worry about her health. Plumber man was all into it though, responding with, "Well, why don't I go down there and take a look?" Of course he winked.
Instead of checking out the sink, he got on his knees and put his face where a doctor's should go. Boy oh boy was my face red!!!! I had no idea that's what plumbers really did! As this was going on I became aware of the soundtrack fading in. Casio melodies and synthesized drum beats that would make Wesley Willis (R.I.P) proud played in the background, and I couldn't believe it but, out of nowhere Lady #2 with her bikini walked in!!! Can you say embarassment? Evidently neither Snatch Johnson nor Laura Crotch can, because they invited (who I'm guessing was) Oprah Bang-Me to join them. She did. Things got messy so I covered my eyes.
When the scene ended I felt very relieved, and glad that I wouldn't have to put up with it again. Finally, I could pay full attention to the film, its unraveling plot, the dialogue, and all that important stuff. Well, wouldn't you know, five minutes later the same situation played itself out with different partners? This made me angry. How was the movie supposed to go anywhere when all its characters kept getting naked?? Not to mention I didn't see any goddamn Vin Diesel!!! Groff and my mom were oblivious to all this, as they seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the whole thing. I didn't want to be a fifth wheel so I just kept my mouth shut till it was all over; while they both hooted and clapped I asked Groff, "What the hell was that? I thought you were going to rent Triple X!" He called me an idiot and said I wouldn't know a good XXX film if it sat on my lap and danced.
At this point I was drunk so I went in my room and crashed. A few hours later I woke up though, and in my drunken haze decided to apologize to Groff for flipping out. Oddly enough, he wasn't in the living room. It wasn't until I made it back to my bed that I heard from behind the wall, "Now let's take a look at that sink" along with a muffled giggle.
So I'm guessing Groff helped my mom unclog the bathroom sink, which makes sense, because he's always telling her how he's good with his hands.
After that I couldn't possibly stay mad at him, 'cause like I said earlier, if there's one thing Groff's good at, it's redeeming himself.