Not a lot of updates lately because my internet connection has been shady, but no worry; I've been transferred to work at a high school with a sweet computer lab! I don't have a key to the room but as with any door, if you kick it hard enough, it opens. Don't be surprised if I start blogging from work.
Last week I received a letter from the ITT Tech people begging me to waste my money on them, and inside the envelope was another envelope with which I could send my response. I decided to make good use of that, and tell them exactly why I can't accept their offer. I should probably warn you there are events of a tragic nature in this letter. Also, after reading it you might wonder how it is that I update my blog. My "internet connection" is Groff and I use his computer when he lets me. Enough of my yammering though, I'll share my letter now.

Dear Itt,

While I am very grateful you sent me that Career Opportunity Card, it is with a heavy heart I decline your offer. I'm pretty surprised my mom didn't find your envelope in the mailbox and burn it. See, when I was a child my father tried developing a SUPER COMPUTER by combining the television with a microwave. He came close to completing it too, but during a test run of the "AL-9000" a circuit shorted out and he was electrocuted. Adding insult to injury, Seinfled was on the t.v. so while he choked and writhed we all laughed at Kramer's wacky antics. It wasn't until the microwave door blasted off, showering him in macaroni and cheese, that we realized something had gone wrong. The last memory I have of my father is him being covered with a white sheet by the coroners, face covered in cheese sauce, smoke pouring from his ears, and every hair on his head standing straight up.

Since then, mother has forbade us to acknowledge any technological advancements. Instead of machines we employ trained animals to help with our day to day tasks; dogs that wash dishes, carrier pigeons, and a cat that mows the lawn. So you see, I can't attend your university, mother would never allow it. Your Robotics course interests me though. I think I could build the world's best girlfriend and, maybe then, not feel so cold inside. But enough dreaming, I must return to my chores. Thanks again for writing. Hopefully, we can still be friends.

I really hope they're not let down that I can't be their student 'cause I'd feel bad if they were. Not only that, but it'd also be pretty awesome to build my own girlfriend.
Life hurts sometimes.