The Wisdom Of Children


Every now and then, I'll be working, hear the statement of a passing child and find myself completely dumbfounded by the profundity of what was said. My heart will sink into my stomach, my jaw will drop, as will my mop. Such an instance happened today.
It was the end of sixth period lunch and the garbage had to be emptied before the next lunch began. Just as I entered the cafeteria I caught a young boy with long hair, in a BAM shirt knocking books out of the hands of a scrawny, smaller boy with glasses and highwaters on. Normally I ignore this type of thing and continue with the day's work, but today I felt like being a good semaritan.
I marched right up to that young man and I said, "Excuse me young man, but how would you like it if I knocked the books from your hand or pushed you around? You wouldn't like that at all, would you?"
After a brief pause he said, "No I wouldn't."
"So why do it to him?" I asked.
"Cause he's a geek" was the child's response.
I told him how horribly wrong that was, how incorrect, how inhumane that rationalization was. I said, "That's exactly why you SHOULDN'T make fun of him. See, that geek is going to grow up and own a company, be your boss, your manager,or maybe a millionaire. And he'll remember everytime you ever made fun of him. He'll remember your face, your name, and when you try to find a job that's when he'll strike. No matter how well you perform during your interview, you'll be turned down. Whatever the reason it won't matter. You'll forget all about that geek until one day, many years from now, when he gets his revenge. What have you got to say about that?"
The child shrugged his shoulders and said, "So what? He'll still be a geek."
I gave that a good pondering then said, "You're a genius. I never thought of it like that." How true! A geek is a geek is a geek is a geek! It doesn't matter how many women he pays to have sex with, how much money he has, how fancy his car, or how successful he is! At the end of the day that geek is still a geek! Before letting him on his way I assured the child that if he ever needed a forty or a deuce, I'd be the guy to see.
Soon as I could I got Groff on the horn and told himI had something super sweet planned for after work.
Around five I swung by his house, him asking what exactly the plan was, me relating my lunchtime revelation and where we were now headed. Minutes later I pulled into the parking lot of a huge office building, hoping I'd made it in time.
The crowd of people exiting the building, dispersing as they walked toward their cars had just finished their shift. Groff and I got out of the Honda, I went to the trunk and pulled out the rotten tomatoes.
Then I let out one long bellowing, "GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKS!" all while hurling those soft, putrid, red stones. Groff did his part by dryhumping the passenger side door, yelling: "Oooooooooh look at me! I'm a geek!"
As my projectiles made contact with windshields, crotches, faces, bellies, cries let out from the geeks' mouths. Some were crying, others swearing, and a few were on cellphones; no doubt talking with police.
To Groff I yelled the codeword, which was "Stop", signalling that if we stayed any longer we'd run the risk of being arrested. We hopped back into the Accord and peeled out, Groff bidding them farewell with a "YOU GUYS SUCK!"
We made it home fine and I gotta say, if tomorrow's mission is as successful as our last, we'll be busy for a long time to come.
God I love kids.