Some broad tried making me feel foolish tonight. I purchased a sixer of High Life pounders along with some Pepto Bismol. Her response to this was a condescending, "Hmm, interesting combination."
Now, truth be told I have an acid reflux condition that I'm not too comfortable talking about (read: don't tell anyone I told you) so it's no surprise I found her comment a bit embarassing.
You know what I did? I got all up in her grill and was like, "Well Honey, I'll have you know my mother's at home right now shitting her brains out! Do you know about the stress it's caused me? Didn't think so. Let me tell ya something Sweetheart, when you gotta inspect your old lady's rump for worms, mites, and deer ticks the last thing you want is to stay sober. So excuuuuuuse me if I purchase two contradictory items. I wasn't aware everything I bought had to be within the realm of your understanding."
Oh man, you shoulda seen her face. She looked like somebody snuck up behind and gave her a massive wedgie. I knew my job there was done; I walked out with supreme confidence.

Let that be a lesson to all you wise-ass cashiers everywhere. . .
RICH IS ON THE PROWL.