An open letter to ISIS
Dear Aaron Turner and gang,
As I'm sure you already know my birthday is just around the corner (February) and seeing that I'm a fan of your work there is a question I'd like to ask: will you come to my birthday party?
Mom says if I behave well until then, she'll get a pony, a magician, a stripper, and ice cream cake. Festivities will begin promptly at noon, with everyone meeting at the bowling alley for a few games and pitchers. From there we'll head up to my place for the real party and, so you know, it's BYOG (Bring Your Own Gun).
I hope you guys like to drink because my brother and I will be purchasing a few kegs of Natural Ice, even if we have to drive through a state or four to get them. Once our gears are warmed up from the brew, it'll be time for the entertainment. That'll consist of the stripper taking her clothes off and serving ice cream cake to the pony. I'm not sure if horsies are lactose intolerant or not, but if he makes a mess that'll just add to the excitement; for laughs we'll tell the magician to make it disappear. If everyone brings a gun, he'll pretty much have to.
Now, it would be awful naive of me to assume that a fight wouldn't break out. Considering the amount of alcohol we'll be consuming it's to be expected. If, and when, this happens I find it's always best just to back off and let it run its course. Like I always say, "So what if my mom broke your jaw? We had fun, right?"
We should have a pinatta too, only we don't like buying those fancy papier mache donkey ones. Instead we string up a trashbag full of the past week's refuse; aside from being the more economic solution, it has a greater element of surprise since, until it's been opened, you don't even know if there's any candy in it! Again, we won't let a potential mess worry us. As long as that good for nothing magician keeps his word and makes it disappear, he'll keep his life as well.
The last thing I'd want is for there to be an air of discomfort between you guys and my family/friends, so let me lay this out for you. Your attendance at my birthday party doesn't mean I expect you to perform. That being said I really enjoy the folllowing songs: So Did We, False Light, Syndic Calls & Altered Course, Weight, Carry, Maritime, and From Sinking.
On the same note, a gift isn't expected either (unless OMG shows up); a card with some money should be just fine.
Well I think that's about it. I'm excited to hear your response, so please, get back to me by the beginning of February and we'll iron out all the details.
P.S. I can't help but notice you share the same last name as Tina Turner. Any relation?
Keep on keepin on,
Rich.
Dear Aaron Turner and gang,
As I'm sure you already know my birthday is just around the corner (February) and seeing that I'm a fan of your work there is a question I'd like to ask: will you come to my birthday party?
Mom says if I behave well until then, she'll get a pony, a magician, a stripper, and ice cream cake. Festivities will begin promptly at noon, with everyone meeting at the bowling alley for a few games and pitchers. From there we'll head up to my place for the real party and, so you know, it's BYOG (Bring Your Own Gun).
I hope you guys like to drink because my brother and I will be purchasing a few kegs of Natural Ice, even if we have to drive through a state or four to get them. Once our gears are warmed up from the brew, it'll be time for the entertainment. That'll consist of the stripper taking her clothes off and serving ice cream cake to the pony. I'm not sure if horsies are lactose intolerant or not, but if he makes a mess that'll just add to the excitement; for laughs we'll tell the magician to make it disappear. If everyone brings a gun, he'll pretty much have to.
Now, it would be awful naive of me to assume that a fight wouldn't break out. Considering the amount of alcohol we'll be consuming it's to be expected. If, and when, this happens I find it's always best just to back off and let it run its course. Like I always say, "So what if my mom broke your jaw? We had fun, right?"
We should have a pinatta too, only we don't like buying those fancy papier mache donkey ones. Instead we string up a trashbag full of the past week's refuse; aside from being the more economic solution, it has a greater element of surprise since, until it's been opened, you don't even know if there's any candy in it! Again, we won't let a potential mess worry us. As long as that good for nothing magician keeps his word and makes it disappear, he'll keep his life as well.
The last thing I'd want is for there to be an air of discomfort between you guys and my family/friends, so let me lay this out for you. Your attendance at my birthday party doesn't mean I expect you to perform. That being said I really enjoy the folllowing songs: So Did We, False Light, Syndic Calls & Altered Course, Weight, Carry, Maritime, and From Sinking.
On the same note, a gift isn't expected either (unless OMG shows up); a card with some money should be just fine.
Well I think that's about it. I'm excited to hear your response, so please, get back to me by the beginning of February and we'll iron out all the details.
P.S. I can't help but notice you share the same last name as Tina Turner. Any relation?
Keep on keepin on,
Rich.
posted by Pretty Awesome @ 10:24 PM
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