Shower For The Showers

Will you be watching the meteor showers this weekend? I won't. But for those who will, I share this little article. With information on the Leonid Meteors themselves, when they'll be best viewed, and where, I figure the least I can do is spread some knowledge. Most importantly, there is a little blurb about how to prepare yourself for the event. Take a look.

Preparing for your meteor watch
"No two observers prepare for a meteor vigil the same way. It helps to have had a late-afternoon nap, a shower, and to wear all fresh clothing."

Now I know you're thinking that's just the silliest, stupidest bit of advice one could offer, and to be honest, I would agree with you had I not had a botched meteor viewing experience myself.
It was senior year, my friends and I gathered near a pavilion in this little town park around midnight or so. We were a bit out of sorts; the previous night was spent at a double kegger. Late-afternoon nap? Shit, we slept clear through till 4 PM that day, but in hindsight I can tell you that was a mistake. Feeling haggard and worn down, not one of us had the chance to change our clothes, let alone shower. But was that really important? We didn't think so. I mean, it was just going to be us standing around, craning our necks toward the zenith for a few hours; why bother getting fancied up?
One of things I remember most, though not integral to my story, from that night was I had the intro to Cave In's Juggernaut playing in my head. The combination of those opening notes along with those green streaks flashing by had me headbanging and playing air guitar. Can you say metal?
Perhaps it was the cosmic dust crashing through the atmosphere that caused it but we were engaged in some rivetting conversation; I mean we were touching down on some really deep topics.

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"Is it true if you don't beat off enough your balls shrivel and turn blue?"
"Totally."
"Bogus!"
"Tragic, I know."
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"Mary Lou's tits are huge!"
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"What if those comets aren't really comets but actually missiles shot by invading aliens?"
"Oh my God Groff, I think you're on to something!"
"Duuuuuude, that's soooooo fuckin' trippy!"
"Wow. The universe is amazing."
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"Be right back fellas. I gotta take a leak."
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And so on. We talked and talked until a noise came from the woods. We shushed, curious to see what was coming. Sure enough, a group of giddy, chatting, girls appeared, five to be exact; Lenore, Sandra, Joanne, Laqueesha, and Mary Lou. At the time Groff was the lady's man of our group, and rightly so since he was the only one brave enough to cop feels off random chicks.
"Let's see if these bitches want to do some horizontal dancing . . . Groff style" he said to us, and adavanced on the girls. I should mention he tried something similar the night before at Big Jeb's kegger and, sadly, struck out. If I were him in that situation, I would've run home to cut myself while listening to Elliott Smith. Not Groff though, he was a trooper. He could hit on a girl, have her tell him to jump off a building, and come back with something witty like, "ummmmmm, how about no?" and shrug the whole thing off. So he walked over to the group and made his move.
"Lovely evening for a stroll. Any of you babes wanna bang?"
Mary Lou, the ringleader, looked him over a moment then, with raised eyebrows said, "Uhhh, are you wearing the same clothes as last night?"
". . . . yeah. So what?"
Mary Lou cast a glance toward her girlfriends, who were now laughing, and started cracking up herself. When they finished Mary Lou said, "Come on ladies, let's go fuck some football players" and away they went. Before disappearing from sight Laqueesha yelled out, "and while you're at it, why don't you fags take a shower?"

Ouch.

Earl still had his middle finger back then so he put it to good use and flipped them the bird. Unfortunately not all of us were able to shirk comments like those off so easily.
Remember me saying that when it came to rejection Groff was a trooper? Well he wasn't this time. Slumping in posture, he sulked over to the pavilion where, leaning his forehead against a support beam, started punching the wood which held him up.
"Why didn't I wear fresh clothes?!? WHY GOD, WHY?" he cried, now on his knees, face aimed at the stars.
That pretty much ended all conversation. After that we stood around in awkward silence until I asked if anyone else wanted to call it a night. Yes. It was unanimous, everyone wanted to call it a night.
We missed the rest of the meteors all because we neither showered nor wore fresh clothing; so please folks, PLEASE, if you're considering watching the meteor showers Saturday night take my advice and do those two things.
Believe me, you'll thank yourself in the morning.