Howdy folks, I had a pretty exciting day today. My friend Groff and I went to the movie theatre to see The Hills Have Eyes. It was totally sweet. Halfway through, Groff looks at me with his good eye, and says, "What says you and I Punk these fools?" So I toss the idea around in my skull for a bit, and finally respond, " Hell yeah, Bro!!!"
Next thing I know we're hanging out in the Men's bathroom formulating a plan, and then Groff tells me this great joke about crowded movie theatres. By the time we had finished laying out who did what, I had already high-fived him like ten times, cause it was such a sweet plan! After taking a wizz we went back out to Punk those chumps.
What's great about movie theatres is that each little room has multiple exits, so Groff entered through one door and I through another. Groff waited at the door situated toward the rear of the theatre ready for my signal, which I was amping myself up for. So I'm standing there hopping up and down, shadowboxing, and counting down until GO TIME. I saw one of those shmuck employees coming down the hall and figured that it was as good a time as any to roll, so I stopped hopping and kicked in the door. Startled by the sudden outburst, the folks watching the movie were a little upset but that was nothing! I start shrieking real loud, "FIRE!! EVERYBODY OUT! QUICK! OH MY GOD IT'S BAD!! TAKE THE REAR EXIT! IT'S FASTER! I REPEAT, THERE'S A FIRE! EVERYBODY OUT!"
Following my instructions everyone filed out of their seats headed toward the back exit. This is when Stage 2 kicked in, and just when that first person opened the door, Groff pulled the trigger of a fire extinguisher we ganked from the bathroom and unloaded CO2 all over those idiots. Panic broke out as the people in back mistook it for smoke and stampeded toward where I stood watching. Through all the chaos and screaming I managed to see some old dude with a walker get pushed over, some jerk trip as he attempted to hop over seats, and some crazy lady elbow about fifteen dudes ahead of her.
That crazy lady and the look on her face really freaked me out so I ran outside to the area behind the theatre where Groff and I would meet. It was about five minutes before he showed up. Evidently that guy who got blasted by the extinguisher "accidentally" punched him in the face, but Groff said it was cool because he didn't hit his good eye. We high-fived and watched as everyone poured out into the parking lot. I think some little kids found the joke funny too, because they were all crying hysterically. Some firemen showed up, a few police cars, and an ambulance, and when we thought the last of them had arrived we decided to let everyone in on it. At the count of three we popped out of the bushes and yelled, "YOU GOT PUNKED! AHAHAHAHA!"
Everyone burst into laughter, and started clapping. The firemen beckoned us over, and some police officers asked for our autographs(which was TOTALLY SWEET!!!) That old dude with a walker must have been laughing pretty hard because he had a huge wet spot on his pants, and those kids just kept on crying. Oh man, it was real awesome.
To make a long story short Groff and I got to ride home in a fire engine, and when I showed up I started telling my mom about all the cool things that happened, but she was busy sitting on some dude's lap. He had a killer moustache so we high-fived and then my mom sent me to room. Oh man, it was sooo awesome.