I had the privelege of taking a trip to the mall and playing DDR (Dance Dance Revolution, you losers) today. My friends all say I'm a hot-dogger cause I can take out any kid there fifteen and under. (Seriously though, I think that game should be MA-17 so people like me will actually have some competition. Stupid posers.)
Right after I finished breakin it down on Hysteria I stepped off the machine, spotting this fine honey in the Food Court. We caught eyes for a split second and I sorta blushed. Fate must have had something to do with me noticing her because she didn't budge for a good fifteen minutes. I did what any other guy would do...
I pumped a few quarters into the game and DOMINATED. One after another the contenders rose up, and one after another they all fell. In between songs I'd cast glances her way as if to tell her, "Hey Baby. Count your cards right and you just might find me sitting in a seat near you." She was totally feeling it, so I told Groff what was up.
He told me that chicks dig dudes who can dance and that if I asked for her digits, she'd be more than willing to give 'em up. This bit of knowledge blew my mind. It was time for a rest.
While taking a breather that voice in back of my head started piping up and egging me on to introduce myself to that fine honey; I started strutting over to her table.
On my way there this big jerk looking dude in a football jersey stands in my way, and with a triple cheeseburger in one hand says, "She's not interested, J-Lo. Get back to your dance game, Queerbate."
Every drop of saliva in my mouth dried up. I shrank back and returned to the arcade to get Groff and tell him it was time to go. Before I made it there I heard that same jerkface yell, "And while you're at it take a fucking shower!" which I gotta say was totally uncalled for. I mean, I'd like to see him dance for an hour and a half and NOT sweat.
I was pretty bummed out most of the ride home and, after a quick shower, I started playing Galaga because it usually calms me down. Today it wouldn't. What's worse was I kept missing all my shots, so I paused the game. Closing my eyes and taking slow, deep breaths I said to myself, "OK Dragonfly, (my nickname) you can do this. Just visualize that jerk's face as the alien ships." I counted backwards from ten before restarting the game, and when I did I WENT OFF!
Using that trick where you shoot with two ships I was taking down Galactic scum left and right!!!! By the second Challenge Stage I had rounded up 70,000 points! Sure I died a few times in the 12th round but I made it to level 16 for the first time ever, AND I got a new hi-score of 122,450!!!!!!!
Yeah. Who's gay now, Mr. Football Man?
Right after I finished breakin it down on Hysteria I stepped off the machine, spotting this fine honey in the Food Court. We caught eyes for a split second and I sorta blushed. Fate must have had something to do with me noticing her because she didn't budge for a good fifteen minutes. I did what any other guy would do...
I pumped a few quarters into the game and DOMINATED. One after another the contenders rose up, and one after another they all fell. In between songs I'd cast glances her way as if to tell her, "Hey Baby. Count your cards right and you just might find me sitting in a seat near you." She was totally feeling it, so I told Groff what was up.
He told me that chicks dig dudes who can dance and that if I asked for her digits, she'd be more than willing to give 'em up. This bit of knowledge blew my mind. It was time for a rest.
While taking a breather that voice in back of my head started piping up and egging me on to introduce myself to that fine honey; I started strutting over to her table.
On my way there this big jerk looking dude in a football jersey stands in my way, and with a triple cheeseburger in one hand says, "She's not interested, J-Lo. Get back to your dance game, Queerbate."
Every drop of saliva in my mouth dried up. I shrank back and returned to the arcade to get Groff and tell him it was time to go. Before I made it there I heard that same jerkface yell, "And while you're at it take a fucking shower!" which I gotta say was totally uncalled for. I mean, I'd like to see him dance for an hour and a half and NOT sweat.
I was pretty bummed out most of the ride home and, after a quick shower, I started playing Galaga because it usually calms me down. Today it wouldn't. What's worse was I kept missing all my shots, so I paused the game. Closing my eyes and taking slow, deep breaths I said to myself, "OK Dragonfly, (my nickname) you can do this. Just visualize that jerk's face as the alien ships." I counted backwards from ten before restarting the game, and when I did I WENT OFF!
Using that trick where you shoot with two ships I was taking down Galactic scum left and right!!!! By the second Challenge Stage I had rounded up 70,000 points! Sure I died a few times in the 12th round but I made it to level 16 for the first time ever, AND I got a new hi-score of 122,450!!!!!!!
Yeah. Who's gay now, Mr. Football Man?
posted by Pretty Awesome @ 9:26 PM
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